Alternate Reality
by The Marvelous Mad Madam Mim
Summary: Just-for-fun. Thought I'd do some unusual pairings and odd family connections.


**_*Author's Note: This was a just-for-fun project...unlike most of my other stories, it should not be connected to any other storyline in any way. I just wondered "what if...?" and realized that not many people go with unusual pairings, so I decided to throw y'all for a loop. So take everything you know about Cats couples and throw it away. Also, this is written in a more "roman nouveau" style, meaning that these are less like short stories and more like "snapshots in time", brief glimpses into the characters' worlds. Enjoy!*_**

Bombalurina rolled over, curling up to her mate for warmth. She hated the way the cold morning air always seeped through the windows. She watched her mate's sleeping face with a look of mild amusement. He certainly was not handsome, but she did not choose him for looks. The wonderfully clichéd thing to say would be that she chose him for love, but Bombalurina did not live her life in clichés. She was honest with herself—she chose him because he had money, and with that money came power and freedom that she had never possessed. She did not feel badly about this, since he had chosen her for similar reasons. He had to have the best of everything—and she was breathtakingly beautiful. She knew he had merely wanted a trophy mate, a beautiful queen to hang on his arm and make the others jealous. She was quite good at that.

He was waking now, rolling over to smile affectionately at her. Despite their ulterior motives, they had grown quite fond of each other over the years. He greeted her the same way he did every morning, "Good morning, Bombalurina."

She returned the smile warmly, "Good morning, Bustopher."

~*~

Across town in a third story loft, Bombalurina's sister Demeter stared out at the grey misty morning. Her belly was now heavy with her first kit. She rested a paw on her stomach unconsciously, turning to look over at her mate, Coricopat, who slept soundly in the basket they shared.

He certainly was a strange one—quiet and gentle, but that was why Demeter loved him so. He wasn't boisterous or outgoing, like all the other toms. He was perfect match for Demeter's mild nature. He could read minds, like his twin sister Tantomile, who also lived there, since the three shared the same human. Demeter smiled fondly at the memory—she had left her own humans when Coricopat became her mate. Luckily, his people thought she was adorable and allowed her to stay.

Coricopat sat up suddenly, his eyes focused on hers, "Jemima. The kit's name should be Jemima."

The two had been trying to decide on a name for the kitten, since Tantomile had predicted that they would have a girl—and Tanto was never wrong about such things. Demeter smiled softly, whispering the name to herself, "Jemima. I like it."

Coricopat gave a self-satisfied smile and burrowed back into sleep. Demeter jumped down from the windowsill gingerly, walking across the kitchen and into the human's den to wake them up. She had let them sleep in—the sun was rising, the day had already begun.

~*~

Munkustrap watched the sun rise over the junkyard, his chest filled with a certain sense of pride. Many years before, his father, Old Deuteronomy, had led the Jellicle Tribe to this place, providing a haven for the cats. Someday it would be his turn to lead them, his turn to provide shelter and comfort for all the ousted cats of London.

"Why in Heaviside are you up so early?" His mate, Cassandra, appeared beside him, rubbing her eyes. Her voice still held the groggy croak of someone who had just woke up.

"Couldn't sleep," he said simply. She rested her head on his shoulder, yawning, "Did the kits keep you up last night? I tried to keep them quiet, but you know how they are."

Munku chuckled at this, kissing his mate lightly on the forehead. Their two daughters were becoming quite a handful. He looked back to the den with a smile. They were sleeping now—the snow-white Victoria and her sister Electra, who bore her mother's dark coat.

"Come back inside," Cassandra said sleepily, turning towards the den. "It's too cold out here."

~*~

Alonzo headed back to his den, dead-tired from his shift as the night watchtom. His older half-brother Munkustap had decided that due to the recent rise in Macavity-driven crime, the Jellicle Territory needed to be patrolled at all times.

Rumpleteaser was standing at the entrance to the den, her bright eyes wide and alert, turning expectantly towards the junkyard gate. She had been waiting for him to come home—she always hated when he got the latest shift. Her soft face lit up when she saw him approach. The sight of her waiting so anxiously for him gave Alonzo a lift, causing him to pick up the pace.

Teaser kissed him, smoothing the fur on his face affectionately, "Oi was worried 'bout ya, luv. Tha sun's already up, and you wasn't 'ome."

"Tugger was late," Alonzo smiled, slipping into the den. Teaser followed him with a roll of her eyes, "Tha' brover of yours is so irrespons'ble. Dohn' 'e know you go'a lady at 'ome, wai'in on ya?"

Alonzo just smiled at this, knowing that Tugger could care less about the fact that Rumpleteaser got antsy if things did not go like clockwork. She was a former thief—and a good one at that—and she always did things according to plan, within a certain time frame. If things were not on time, it meant something was wrong, and that always signaled danger. So one could understand why Alonzo being half an hour late could cause Teaser to worry.

Alonzo flopped down on the sofa pillow that served as their bed. Wordlessly, Teaser slipped up beside him, curling into a small ball and drifting back to sleep. Alonzo smiled as he remembered how they first met—he was on night watch and he caught Teaser trying to steal from the Jellicles.

"Stop!" He had called authoritatively, and surprisingly, she had obeyed. She stepped forward into the light timidly, her large green eyes wide with shock. He caught his breath. She was beautiful.

"Don't be scared," he assured her, extending his hand and waiting for her to return the stolen items. She did begrudgingly, her pretty little mouth in a cute pout, "Oi ain't scared. Oi jus' cain't believe Oi go' caught. Neva' been caught before; Oi mus' be slippin' in me old age."

Alonzo had laughed at this; he could easily look at her and tell that she was far from old. He had given her food and a place to stay for the night, expecting her to disappear before morning. Surprisingly, when he awoke the next morning, she was still there. He had taken her in, helped her reform her thieving ways, and somewhere along the way, they fell in love. The rest was history.

~*~

Jellyorum stretched, her bones aching from the cold. With a slight smile, she hopped lightly over Old Deuteronomy and made way outside. She trotted down the street at a brisk pace, trying to fight off the cold fog with exercise. She was on her way to see her father, Gus, who lived with some humans about three blocks down.

She smiled at her son, the infamous Rum Tum Tugger, as she left Jellicle Territory. He was guarding the Tribe now, a humorous thought since Tugger was such an irresponsible cat—at least in his personal life. He possessed his father's joie de vie, the same spark that Jellyorum fell in love with when she arrived at the junkyard, two young kits in tow.

She had been abandoned, left with her two daughters, Demeter and Bombalurina. Having nowhere else to go, she came to the Jellicles. Deuteronomy was still in his prime then, a strong and handsome cat. His mate had died, leaving him to take care of his son, Munkustrap. Jellyorum had watched over the kit, who wasn't much older than her two daughters. Eventually, she and Deuteronomy became mates, producing Alonzo, Rum Tum Tugger, and Tumblebrutus. She was proud of her children—all six of them, for she considered Munku her kit as well. They were all the smartest of cats, refined and respectable, as a Jellicle should be. They all had mates; a few had kits; and they were all taken care of. She knew that if she were to leave for Heaviside today, her kittens would not be left alone. The Jellicle family extended to thirty-something cats, ensuring that no one was ever alone.

Jellyorum's brother, Asparagus, was waiting at their father's human house. He gave a nod of greeting, "Morning, Jells."

Only her brother was allowed to call her that. Jellyorum found the idea of shortening a cat's rightful name absolutely despicable, but Asparagus didn't care. He had called her Jells since they were kits; there was no sense in trying to mend his ways now.

"Morning," she smiled brightly at him. She was one of those annoying cats who actually liked waking early. She turned to smile at her niece, "Morning, Etcetera."

"Cetty," the kitten corrected her. Jellyorum just smiled at this; there was no way in Heaviside that she would condescend to call Etcetera by anything less than her full name.

"Are we going to the yard today?" Etcetera looked up at her father with hopeful eyes. Asparagus nodded. Etcetera let out a high pitched squeal of joy, "Yay! I get to spend the whole day with Tugger!"

~*~

"Come along, darling," Bustopher rolled over to get up. Bombalurina reached out to him, nestling her face into the fur on his back, "Can't we wait five more minutes?"

Bustopher chuckled at this. Bombalurina was not a morning cat and she despised the cold. He leaned back good naturedly, allowing her to rest her head on his chest. She certainly was beautiful; he never could refuse her. All she had to do was bat those gorgeous brown eyes of hers, and Bustopher crumbled like the walls of Jericho.

Finally, Bombalurina sat up and slid effortlessly out of the basket. With a small smile of pride, he watched her cross the room—long legs moving aimlessly, hips that swayed even when she wasn't trying to be provocative. She smiled over her shoulder at him, her face bright and enchanting in the early morning light. She was a goddess, and she was all his—his and his alone.

She sat before the mirror, smoothing her ruffled fur with her white-tipped paws, "Where are we going today, dearest?"

"I've a meeting on St. James' Street," he replied, getting out of the basket to retrieve his white spats. Bustopher insisted on looking his very best, no matter what.

"Formal or casual?" Bombalurina asked nonchalantly, never bothering to turn around.

"It's a brunch," Bustopher turned to his own mirror as he adjusted his cravat-collar. "So something in-between."

"I suppose diamonds would be too much," she replied dryly. He smiled at this. She looked at herself in the mirror, smoothing the white patch of fur on her chest, "Pearls."

"Pearls would be very nice," Bustopher agreed. He looked over at her. Her mirror-reflection flashed him a smile.

They left the house shortly afterwards, Bustopher's dark and shiny coat the perfect contrast to Bombalurina's red one. Bustopher looked over at his mate, who wore a small smile of contentment. There was a time when Bombalurina had to force herself to smile, but now she had bought into the idea that she was happy, so the smile came naturally. In a way, she was happy. Together they had produced Mistoffelees, who bore the black and white coat of his father, much to Bustopher's everlasting pride and joy. They were well known and respected throughout the city. Respect was something that Bombalurina had previously never experienced—she had always been well known, but not due to her spotless character. Infamous was a better way to describe it.

"I think I shall visit the junkyard later this afternoon," she announced casually, never looking over at Bustopher. "I would like to see Dem—she's almost due, you know."

"Of course," Bustopher nodded. "I'll be busy with meetings and such all day; feel free to go and do as you please."

Bombalurina kissed him lightly on the cheek. They both knew he couldn't have stopped her from going even if he wanted to. Still, so much of their life was based on formality that it just seemed natural to engage in this daily ritual.

~*~

Cassandra rubbed Munku's back affectionately, "You don't get enough sleep. You're muscles are as tense as I don't know what."

He smiled at this, but did not reply. The silver tabby was stretched out in their den. The kits had already disappeared outside, embarking on another daring adventure. Cassandra nuzzled her mate's face affectionately, her deep voice dropping into a low whisper, "C'mon, let's loosen up those muscles of yours."

Munkustrap sat up, smiling. She kissed him on the nose before turning to move further back into the den, her tail beckoning him to follow.

~*~

Teaser took a deep breath, "So…Lonz."

Alonzo looked up at her, waiting for her to continue. Teaser lost her courage; she fell silent. She returned to grooming herself. Alonzo jumped up beside her on the car, "What is it, Teaser?"

"Oi…just…" she looked up at him, her pretty little face a mixture of fear and joy. When she saw the reassuring smile on her mate's face, she lost all anxiety. She gave a small smile, adding in a breathless voice, "We're gonna be parents."

Alonzo let out a whoop of joy, which rang throughout the junkyard and caused several cats to look at the pair in alarm. Alonzo held up an apologetic paw, "It's Ok, folks, we're just pregnant."

"Oi!" Teaser scolded him, although a smile played on her lips. "Oi di'int wanna announce it jus' yet, Blabber-mouf."

Alonzo could not stop himself from grinning, "Sorry, Tease, but I'm just so excited."

She allowed her smile to fully bloom across her face, "Oi know, me too. Canya imagine—the two of us, raisin' a kit? Won' that be a soight!"

"You're gonna be a wonderful mother," Alonzo gathered her in his arms, nuzzling her affectionately. Teaser was a highly ticklish cat—she let out a shriek of laughter, causing the other cats to stare once more. Noticing their concerned gazes, Teaser laughed quietly, burying her head in Alonzo's chest, "Yore makin me look positively daffy in fronna all these cats."

"You are positively daffy," Alonzo reminded her affectionately. "And besides, when did you start caring about what the others thought?"

"Well…neva," she admitted with a grin. With a wicked giggle, she pushed Alonzo off the car. He jumped up to retaliate, but she held up a warning paw, "Ah-ah-ah, Oi'm carryin' yore ki'en. Cain't 'arm the muffer of yore child!"

"Oh, so not fair!" Alonzo cried out, although he wore a mile-wide grin. Teaser shrugged, her green eyes dancing mischievously, "Shoulda' thought a tha' 'fore ya knocked me up, mister!"

~*~

"Oh, Randolf, darling," Bombalurina purred as she offered her paw to a finely dressed tom. "How are you? We haven't seen you in ages."

Bustopher did not hear the tom's reply. He was too busy noticing how many other toms were watching him with jealousy, their eyes lustfully glued to the striking red queen who doted on him like a king. Bustopher knew that he was lucky. He knew that many toms would have killed to have Bombalurina as a mate; he knew that he wasn't the first to approach her, the first to ask. But he had been the first that she had accepted. He was not delusional, however. Although she liked him, there was no passion between them.

She was never unfaithful, even though she did lead the toms on. Bustopher never worried, although there was one that caused him some slight concern—The Rum Tum Tugger, a notorious cat about town. He was few years younger than Bombalurina, and in truth was her half brother, but this did not stop Bustopher from worrying.

Across the room, Bombalurina was counting the minutes til she could head to the yard. To see Tugger. She wasn't serious about him—she knew she could never cross the line that separated them. But he was a wonderful distraction. Bustopher allowed her to go out dancing, knowing that she would never stray. Tugger was a great dancer and an even greater flirt. Bomba likened her time with Tugger to appreciating the forbidden fruit without actually taking a bite.

Tugger knew how to touch her—even in a casual nature, just the way his paw would ever-so-slightly brush against her body. Bustopher, despite his devotion, never really learned how to make Bombalurina's body light up with sparks of electricity. But it was a sacrifice the queen was willing to make. She reminded herself that Bustopher's power and influence more than made up for his lack of romance. Besides, she had experienced enough romance during her single years; she had known the heights of joy and the lows of heartbreak. Bustopher was much more stable, more dependable. He was just what she needed.

~*~

Tantomile watched her brother and his mate across the junkyard, trying hard not to stare and failing miserably. It's not as if anyone would notice she was staring, she mused to herself. No one ever noticed her.

She watched the two sit under the tree. Coricopat was especially doting on Demeter today. He was always caring towards the black and gold queen, but since she had become pregnant, he was ten times as careful. Tantomile smiled. She was happy for her brother, although it sent a pain through her heart. Ever since they were kits, they had been labeled as "different" and avoided at all costs. They had become best friends, each other's only friend. Somehow, Demeter had looked past the moniker and saw Coricopat as he truly was—a good tom. Once Demeter accepted him, Coricopat seemed to assimilate into the Jellicle Clan. The others no longer regarded him with cautious looks or fearful whispers. Tantomile, on the other hand, was still ostracized. She liked Demeter, she really did, but she hated that she had lost her brother.

Tantomile also hated the realization that she would never have such a chance—a chance to be seen like any other queen, to be looked at and desired. She would always be the strange one, who lurked about in the shadows while the rest paraded about the yard, greeting one another in a friendly fashion that had never been shown to Tantomile.

She wrapped her tail around herself in a nervous gesture. It was part of the self-contained body language she had learned many years ago—make yourself smaller and no one will notice you. No one would point and say "There's that strange cat, Tantomile! Doesn't she just give you the creeps?"

Tanto knew that's what they thought about her, even if they didn't say it. She could read minds, but she didn't have to use her powers to discover the Jellicles' thoughts. She could see it on their faces.

She didn't ask for this gift; she was born with it. So was Coricopat. Unlike Coricopat, however, Tantomile could also predict the future from time to time. Unfortunately, she could never control her predictions—she never could quite predict her own future, which annoyed her greatly. She always thought that if she could see ahead, and perhaps see something hopeful, it would give her a reason to stay, a reason to continue living life on the fringes of Jellicle society. But Tanto knew that wherever she went, she would be an outcast. It was her lot in life. As soon as others knew of her abilities they moved away uneasily. No one likes to know that someone can read their mind—the dark cavern which holds the secrets and desires that no one dares to speak aloud.

Tanto understood this, and on principle, she did not read someone's mind unless they specifically asked her to—and that was not very often. Still, since the loss of her brother, Tanto found herself tempted more and more to take a peek into the brains of her fellow cats. Maybe if she knew what they were thinking, she could figure out a way to be more like them…

_Don't do it,_ Corico's inner voice echoed in her head. She whirled around to see him staring intently at her across the yard.

_How'd you know?_ She quizzed him.

_Just felt it._

_No you didn't. You couldn't be that perceptive even if you tried…which means you were reading my mind_, Tanto accused. Corico shrugged, _Well, you were going to do the same thing._

Tanto shot her brother an angry look, _No fair! We agreed never to read each other's thoughts—never!_

_It just slipped._

_Yeah, right._

_It did. I was just wondering how you were doing, thinking how lonely you looked, and the portal just opened itself…out of habit, almost. I just overheard the end of it, that's all. _Corico sounded slightly apologetic.

_Well, for your information, I am not lonely_, Tanto felt a flash of anger—angry that her brother still knew her too well, despite their recent detachment. _And this conversation is over!_

Tanto shut the ESP portal at her end, effectively blocking her brother from reading her thoughts or communicating telepathically to her. Other cats could not tell when their minds were being read; but the twins possessed the ability to sense such things—and the power to overcome it.

Coricopat gave her a hurt look, but returned his attention to his mate. He was not one to pursue a subject once it was declared off-limits. Still, he stole an apologetic glance at his twin sister, who was stalking out of the yard. Her aura was positively dark with anger.

~*~

"Well, it's getting late," Bombalurina looked up at the evening sky with feigned worry. She had no idea what time it was; she merely knew that things were getting too close for comfort once again—time to make her escape and return home.

"Say hello to Bustopher for me," Tugger flashed a grin. He, too, felt a certain uneasiness. Once again, he had said the wrong thing—he wasn't sure what—and Bombie had become fidgety. She had looked away quickly, her chest heaving with a sudden intake of nervous breath. This was how most of their nights ended—Tugger would get too close to the line that could never be crossed, and Bombie would run from her feelings, leaving Tugger to feel miserable.

Still, Tugger knew he had the power to stop this whenever he wanted—all he had to do was admit to himself that Bombie was taken and unattainable, that she would never be able to be his, and then he could move on. He could take some other queen out dancing, perhaps fall in love and take a mate of his own.

But the truth of the matter was this: Tugger didn't want anyone else. He could never have Bombie; he knew that. Perhaps that was why he felt so comfortable around her. He could say anything, do anything, and know that she wouldn't be expecting a proposal by the end of the week. She was safe. And fun. She always made him laugh, made him forget the whispers that followed them like shadows.

"I will," she gave a slightly embarrassed smile. She hated it when Tugger mentioned her mate—it always made her feel sleazy to talk about Bustopher while she was out having a good time with Tugger. It always seemed like she was being unfaithful, even when she wasn't.

Bombie didn't have many female friends—most of the queens regarded her with disdain. Besides, Bombie had always gotten along better with the toms—less drama, less fuss, more fun. She could talk to toms; they would listen and understand. Queens just wanted to juicy details so that they could tell everyone else about it later. But the toms kept her secrets—Tugger especially. He was a flirt and a cad at times, but deep down, he was just like her—scared and uncertain, wondering what the next step was in the dance of life. They understood each other; she liked that.

"I'll, uh…see ya tomorrow?" Tugger finished hopefully. Bombie shook her head, "Not tomorrow. Bustopher has a gala to attend; we'll be out all night."

The red queen added with a smile, "But I'll be at the yard the next morning."

"Breakfast then?"

"I would love to," she flashed a bright smile—the genuine kind, the kind that never showed itself in the confines of her lavish lifestyle. The kind that always made Tugger think, _If only she wasn't with him…_

"Good night, Bomba," Tugger smiled as he turned to leave.

"Good night," she called after him with a smile. She turned and headed in the opposite direction. Tugger stopped and turned to watch her go. The only queen he could ever see himself spending the rest of his life with—the only queen he couldn't have.

_Oh well_, he thought with a smile. He may not have her, but he did have a small part of her life. That was enough. He would never be the tom who woke up beside her, watching her face as she slept in the early morning light. He would never be the one to kiss her on the street or feel the warmth of her embrace, but he would be the keeper of her secrets, the ear to her soul. He would be there when she needed him; he would spend his days with her, making her laugh and erasing her tears.

There would never be a romantic dinner, a night spent cooing sweet nothings in her ear. But there was always breakfast. And that was enough for Tugger.

_~Le Fin_

**_*Ok, so some things didn't change that much--like Cetty's affection for Tugger or Tugger and Bombie's relationship...but I hope I shook things up enough to make you think. I quite like Alonzo and Teaser together!*_**


End file.
